Sorry it's been so long. I have three to post today because I feel like it. If you don't read anything on this page except for one poem let it be the first one on this post.. I wrote it yesterday and I sorta like it better than the others I've posted.
The Truth Doesn't Hurt, It Paralyzes
I know this girl but no one else does
She wants to be so skinny you can see right through her
But she doesn't have the determination
And I don't know how many times..
She's sat alone in the bathroom with a blade to her veins
Except she didn't have the guts to die
She picks at her wounds to feel less pain
Her grandfather abuses her and there's no way to stop it
And she prays every night to a god that doesn't listen
That if she could just sleep for a while,
Maybe she wouldnt have to think about it all
She day-dreams about finding someone she can love
Then realizes she's meant to be alone
She's beginning to smoke a pack a day
But she's getting addicted to these pills
When she was younger,
She had such beautiful dreams
And now she welcomes the nightmares
Can you help me get through to her?
I want her to be happy
For at least some of the pain to go away
I've tried helping her before
But I guess it wasn't enough
You see, she cries every night now
Because when you can't fall asleep you begin to realize you're alone
And that is so hurtful
Believe me I know ... and no one else does
I'm the girl.
The "Best" Endings Are Always the Worst
I hate myself today
What is going on in my mind
How are all these emotions all of a sudden existing
I hate how I'm sitting here in my confusion
Swearing to myself this is the last time
But you know I'm easily won over
Can I trust you to stop?
I can't stand the struggle anymore
This has to stop right now
I can't slip back to how I was before
Music can only hold my sanity for so long
Writing these shitty poems doesn't stop much
They won't let me out
And I don't have enough friends
No one understands me
I'm selfish I complain too much
My father is chasing me again
And she won't help anymore
I'm getting sick of running
Why can't you find this out
It's over but I still search the crowds for your face
Hoping things will change for the sake of therapy
I'm driving you crazy with denial
And these words make no sense to you
But how can you write when you've lost emotions
This isn't to make you feel any better
I don't want your help
Can't I just go and sit by the river
Water softly crashing over the rocks
Washing our dreams away
And I'm sure I should be running
But I don't want to anymore
I'm getting sick of crying too
I just need this to be done
And if through some sudden clarity you understand this
Let me know so I can finally die
Yeah I'll sure die happy.
This Isn't A Song It's A Plan
When this pill kicks in, I might not come back
When this blade cuts through, I might bleed forever
When the clock strikes twelve, I might not wake up
Will you notice when it happens?
When I run out of room to cut, I might start to drink
When I only have one match, I might set the world on fire
When no one listens, I might scream
When no one is watching, I might cry for you
Will you promise not to tell?
When the fan stops spinning, I might not fly
When the door is locked, I might run away
When the rain doesn't fall, I might miss you
When I lose the weight, I might be beautiful
When the moon shines bright, I might be happy
Will you keep my secrets forever?
When I run out of poison, I might be addicted
When I start to run, I might not move
When the light goes away, I might wake up
When you start to sing, I might want to be there
When the blade cuts through, I might not die
Will you read through the lies?
Ok my fingers hurt.. I'm going to go now. Oh and if you bothered to read anything ....Comment PLZ!!
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